Vatican City - As the world watched the leaders of the Catholic Church today, everyone knew that their Cardinals would elect the right man for the job. Well, as of today, white smoke rose from the Vatican announcing the decision has been made. Just inside of the second day of deliberations, the cardinals reached a conclusion to elect the world-reknowned bringer of the funk, G. F. Berge to become the 266th Pontiff and to follow the in the foot steps of Saint Peter as leader of the Roman Catholic Church.
As the people in the square celebrated this decision, the graduate of Saint Peter's College (now a university) has promised to restore world peace in these troubled times. How would one do this?
"Spread the funk to all reaches of the globe." Berge responded upon interview. "We need to get everyone up on their feet to 'dance until you feel better' like my man James Brown said. God bless his soul."
The newest Apostle has described his plan to reunite the globe into "One Nation Under A Groove" by spreading the music and way of life to the people. "Anyone can get funky, you just need the right beats and attitude. This may be different for each nation, but it's an understanding we can all reach with one another. Funk is the way to solve issues."
With the world watching, the newest Pope sure has their attention as he dresses in less than traditional pontiff gear. Bright and colorful attire greets their eyes from the balcony and the cardinals tear into a rendition of "Get Up Offa That Thing" with their newly acquired instruments (yes, the Cardinals all play very well). As the music blasts through St. Peter's Square, people slowly begin to jam and dance.
An interesting scene and very different from what one normally would expect from the leader of the Catholic Church, but nonetheless inspirational for the world to follow.
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