For God's sake (I literally mean for him because he frowns upon Bud Light, especially on such a day), have some respect for the best holiday of the year. A day where each and every one of you can pretend to be from the best, craziest, and most fantastic ethnicity in the world. Celebrate that 15% heritage of the Emerald Isle for one day the same way the rest of us real Irish folk do the other 364 out of the year.
So here's some suggestions. I'm sure your local public house offers one of these beverages for you to sip on throughout the day. If they don't then you're in the wrong place. Do it right or don't do it at all people. I'll personally smack green Bud Lights out of every person's hand I meet.
Beer
Guinness - Yes, everyone knows about Guinness. It's easily the most recongizable beer to come out of the island. It's a heavy brewski and not for the faint of heart. To drink Guinness all day is certainly to put some hair on that weak chest of yours though. As my grandfather once said "Beer is food, and Guinness is a meal." This comes from a man who frequently have Guinness with some peanuts for dinner rather than go home to see an angry wife. Not only is it heavy on both the stomach and alcohol, it also boasts a rather healthy regime of protein and carbs. The protein fills your stomach to avoid spending money on food throughout the day (more money for booze) and the carbs give you the energy to help push on for the next 18 hours. Do yourself the favor and order at least one Guinness on Saint Patty's. It's worth the money and goes great with smoking.
Harp - A much lighter beer than Guinness. Harp is one of those beers you can spring for especially if it happens to be quite warm this holiday. There's nothing quite like a nice cool Harp on warm spring days. Harp is the leading Irish lager choice, and for good reason. Nowhere near as heavy as Guinness, but the taste is unbeatable. Harp goes well with any choice of pub food as well, particularly with that corned beef sandwich you'll be eating for lunch/dinner. Joey Jaws is a huge fan of course.
Murphy's Irish Red/Smithwick's (and other reds) - When it comes to ales, the Irish Red Ale is the way to go. Murhpy's Irish Red and Smithwick's are the leading red ales out there, however many other choices from other companies can be found as well. Many companies market their Irish Red's as "authentic." However, it can't be considered authentic unless it's made in Ireland. That's not to say that other Irish Reds won't be a good pick, but they should be considered more Irish-American than anything else.
Smithwick's has the upside of being "Ireland's Oldest Ale." Not only do you get fantastic taste, you get a small bit of history with your beer. Chew on that.
Whiskey
To understand the devotion of Irish people and their whiskey, one must first look to history. Irish whiskey is one of the oldest distilled substances known to man (that being for alcoholic purposes). As the art of distilling alcohol had been prevalent through Medieval Europe since at least the 13th century for medicinal purposes, the Irish and Scottish soon took this aqua vitae (from the Latin meaning "water of life") into Gaelic (now known as Irish by the way) as uisce beatha, meaning "water" or "water of life". The anglicisation of this became known as "whiskey." Basically, whiskey is just as important as fresh drinking water, perhaps more so.
Jameson Irish Whiskey - The best selling Irish whiskey on the globe. Jameson is the standard of Irish whiskey due to it's price. Nicknamed "Jamie" by many fans, it is relatively cheap in price compared to other whiskeys, but does not lack for taste. It has that smooth, crisp feeling until it reaches the gullet where the heartiness breaks out and forces a small grinding of teeth for many folks. One of the best parts about Jameson (at least for me) is how it cleanses the pallet. A glass of Jameson doesn't leave a lingering taste behind like many other drinks (one reason I don't like bourbon). You can't gow wrong with this choice.
Powers - Powers is Jameson's feisty cousin. Slightly cheaper than it's relative, Powers is the most popular whiskey in Ireland (partially due to its effective cost, slightly cheaper than Jameson). Where Jameson is smooth, Powers is rough. It is certain to awaken your senses and clear your sinus problems. In my own personal experience, Powers can overhaul your stomach one way (to continue your drinking into the wee hours) or upend it into the nearest toilet, bathroom/bar floor, sidewalk, bag, or if you're very unfortunate bar. Drink at your own risk.
Bushmills - This is Protestant liquor, just kidding. But enough of the age-old battle. They make a fine single malt. Bushmill's will not steer you wrong.
Tullamore Dew - From the foggy air of the town Tullamore comes the water of life (although not actually produced in Tullamore anymore). "Give every man his Dew" reads across labels and shot glasses as their product slogan. In that, they are as right as they are with their fantastic whiskey. When it comes to Irish Whiskey, "Tully" is my personal favorite. While it is certainly a step below Jameson, it is cost efficient and can be drunk all night (if you're okay with being carried off at some point). While Jameson is clean, Powers is rough, Tully is the combination of the two. Depending upon how adapt your taste buds are to Irish whiskey, Tully could easily seem smooth in contrast to the other two. I hear the famous writer G. F. Berge has written many great pieces while going through a bottle or two.
Redbreast - Are you wealthy? Or are you just saving up for a grand old time this Saint Patty's? Either way Redbreast Single Pot Still whiskey is twice as expensive as any of the aforementioned drinks. Depending on where you may be, three times as expensive. Order it neat and enjoy. The only issue outside of cost is that it's particularly hard to find in the bar scene. Bottles are regularly available at liquor stores, but once again the price can jump to at least $60 for a small bottle. As Ferris Bueller once said "It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up."
Specialty Drinks:
Irish Coffee- A combination of Bailey's or whiskey with your coffee. Good in the morning of Saint Patty's to get you up and to get you going.
Bailey's Irish Creme - A creme liquer for coffee. Can also be put on the rocks. However, this is considered more of a lady's drink.
Irish Car Bomb - Half to 3/4's pint of Guinness, one shot of Irish Whiskey topped with Bailey's. Drop the shot in the pint and chug. Careful, if you're already full of beer/whiskey this is likely to induce vomitting.
All of these beverages are merely suggestions. There's plenty of other Irish beer, whiskeys, and drinks out there. Don't be a fool and drink the numerous green-colored shite bevvies offered by crap bars.
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