Valerie Kay, I salute you!

Let me prefix this with saying: I am not a creep, pervert, weirdo, freak, porn-addict, or anything else that goes with that territory. But sometimes, like every other male in this world, I find myself perusing the back catalogues of the rub-one-out section of the web, becoming an active participator in Amerika's real pastime. There are numerous names for the act, none less awkward than the next. Judgement's encouraged. 

Ok, so now that we are all on the same page, I would like to introduce Amerika to Valerie Kay. I know nothing about her except for a few erotic ad-libs like "mmm," "oh my God," and "fuck me." Yet I don't want to know anymore about her. Her voice is borderline annoying (high pitched with a fist full of snobby Spanish descent). She is not the most attractive female; actually, a few may see a tasteful resemblance to Miss Piggy (the Muppet). I know some of you are sitting there thinking I am being harsh, but the wild thing is, I am actually a fan of Ms. Kay's work, and while we are being honest, I can honestly say I haven't the slightest idea why! The most obvious conclusion is that her body is on WOAH! Soft skin tone, a set of what appears to be natural twins, nipples aren't obnoxious attention whores, but, most importantly, that ass. Sheesh. All I can really articulate is SHEESH! All that being said, none of those features single-handedly wins me over to her motion pictures. Every person has certain characteristics they look for in an actress. Maybe you are the  doctors office or massage table- fantasy individual. Others are wild: ropes, public, upside-down, nauseating viewers. Maybe I look for a sense of nostalgia in my actresses? Something about her triggers a past memory of an encounter, a moment where I flash back, almost as if chasing my first high. Yes, yes. In a past life I once knew miss Valerie Kay.